I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
