Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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