Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
