and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
