i will never coherently bang her
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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