did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
