and she was petting her beer can
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
