i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
