I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
