I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
