its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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