Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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