I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize