I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
