just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
