so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
My balls are so social today.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
