I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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