I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
