well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
