no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
