If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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