I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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