I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
