I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
