im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
