Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
