I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
