i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Blow job season was short but glorious.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
