i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
