Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
