Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
