wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
