she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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