did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
