Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
