Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
