Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
so much tequila, so little girl.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
