I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
