when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
no you cant smoke seaweed
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize