she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
