butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
