my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize