Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
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Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
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This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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