If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
