I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
