she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
