the condom got lost in my hair
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Your shirt... Was in my pants
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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