Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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