So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
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