if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
