haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
