now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
