Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
