May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
i believe in u and ur pee
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize