Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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