I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
