"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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