Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
